Monster Cereals Once Again Return To Their Graves

    With Halloween over, the monster cereals that many of us have grown up with and loved are once again forced to return to their General Mills crypts and cardboard box coffins until next October.
But unknown to many, not all of the Mourning Breakfast Monsters are resurrected. While we are able to enjoy the delicious tastes of Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry; General Mills has decided to never again release Fruit Brute or Fruity Yummy Mummy. Granted, these two cereals were pretty much the same, but if Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster and a ghost can have their own cereals and be brought back every Halloween, then why not a werewolf who happens to dress like a circus clown and a mummy who let too many kids paint on him?
    The reason why so many people love and continue to buy these cereals every October is because we all grew up with them and want our own little toddler terrors to wake up and enjoy their own monster fright-fest breakfast. So let's band together and summon the long dead Fruit Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy back to life so that we can all have a true monster feast.

Battle For The Undead Crown

Forget werewolves; zombies are the true nemesis of vampires. One group drinks blood. The other feeds on human flesh. Both are running opponents for the title of the True Undead.

While vampires are vastly more intellegent and powerful than a mindless slow-moving corpse, zombies have proven to be quite a deadly enemy when gathered in large groups. Their numbers are greater than those of the vampires, and they have virtually no weaknesses since they are unable to feel pain and require no rest or sleep. Although driven to feed primarily on living human flesh, zombies will also attack and feed on vampires as well. It is assumed that vampires give off the same scent as humans and thus attract the zombies to them, as they are essentially void of intellegance and thus are unable to comprehend the nature of their victims.

In contrast, vampires are lethal whether they hunt solo, or with a clan. They are able to utilize their speed and enhanced strength in order to overpower their victims. They must feed on the blood of living creatures, human or otherwise in order to survive, and must never drink the blood of the dead. Blood that is still present in corpses has already coagulated and can no loger be properly digested by a vampire. In addition, dead blood is cold as opposed to the warm blood of a living victim, and if injested will cause the vampire to emaciate and begin to mummify.

Vampires also have more methods to destroy them than zombies do. Exposure to direct sunlight, a stake through the heart, decapitation, drowned by holy water, shot with silver bullets, etc. Zombies can only be killed in one of two ways: decapitation, or severe trauma to the brain. So which undead creature would triumph in a battle to the death (er.. undeath, re-death, whatever, you get the point), which one would remain standing when the sun rises the following day and rightfully possess the title of the Undead?

Cast your vote.

Prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse!

It's inevitable. No matter where you go. No matter what religion you worship. No matter how many times you wish you had slept with the super-hot chick before she became one of the undead; you need to face facts. The zombie apocalypse is coming!

I don't know about the rest of you non-believers, but I intend to be fully prepared and ready to do battle with the flesh-eating death squads once they come shuffling down the street. Now that I have read Max Brooks'

The Zombie Survival Guide I know where to hide, how to fight, and how to avoid becoming a main course on the menu.

You might laugh at this, but when you're the ones who are being eaten alive by former friends and family who have developed an unstoppable case of the munchies, well ... OK, no one will be laughing then, but you can't say that I at least didn't try to warn you.

This book is the ultimate weapon in dealing with the hungry undead. It goes into specific detail on how to kill them (again) and how to stay a few (hundred) steps ahead of them. If you're truly smart and want to stay a member of the human race, then you will go out and buy a copy of this book ( you can't have mine, I will need it). Otherwise, you will find yourself surrounded by countless zombies who are driven only by the most basic of needs...

...THE NEED TO FEED!!!

Blood Feud

Unknown to many mortals, there are several reigning clans of vampires; each with their own specific targets for who they wish to sire to help their clan thrive.

VENTRUE

The Ventrue clan are the rulers and political leaders who perceive themselves as the most powerful of all vampire clans. Over the course of time, members of the Ventrue have been generals, warlords, knights, barons, politicians, businessmen, crimelords and important members of powerful religions, sects and cults. Because of their ability of persuasion, the Ventrue are able to control the will of others as well as erase memories from their human victims (this allows them to remain hidden while blending in plain sight with humans and free to hunt whenever and whomever as they choose). A Ventrue will not sire a human into their clan, unless that person holds some form of power over others.

GANGREL

The Gangrel clan are the most skilled as transmogrification. Their blood is so tainted with ancient magic that they are able to assume any animal form, whereas all other clans are limited to forms of wolves or bats. Gangrels are also the only clan of vampires to be allied with werewolves due to a pact that was made between the clan and the wolf packs. Neither will attack the other, and in times of great duress, they can call upon each other for aid. The Gangrels thrive mainly on instict, similar to that of the animal forms they are able to assume (this is believed why they also are on such good terms with the werewolves).

MALKAVIAN

The Malkavian clan share a telepathic link with all other members of their clan. Because of this, the Malkavians are unable to discern their own thoughts from those of their clan members and have been driven insane. The countless "voices in their heads" constantly confuses them regarding their own location, who or what might be a specific enemy or ally, and whether or not they have recently fed, or if it was a different clan member that fed. Although their telepathy results in this type of specific flaw, it also allows them to possess the rare ability of Dementation, which can alter the way a victim senses reality. This ability can be used to increase the Malkavian's own oracular ability to forsee the future, or to induce insanity in others whether it be enemies from other vampire clans or intended victims to feed upon.

NOSFERATU

The Nosferatu clan are the most visibly cursed of all vampire clans. When a Nosferatu is sired, they are hisdiously deformed with a bald head and clawed hands. Because of their deformity, the Nosferatu have made their domain underground, living in the sewers and abandoned mines. Despite being shunned by most other clans, the Nosferatu are highly empathetic and can sense and control the feelings of those around them. They are also gifted with advanced intelligence and are extremely skilled alchemists. Because of their desire to be accepted, the Nosferatu have embraced the religion of Christianity and the notion of redemtion. Because of this, they are immune from the paralyzing effects of religious icons such as the crucifix and the jewish star, and are able to drink holy water as a substitute for blood (though very few actually do this).

RAVNOS

The Ravnos clan are shunned and reviled by other vampires more than any other clan. It is hard to even call the Ravnos a clan, because each member strives to venture solo (the exception being a clan of possibly two or three at most). All Ravnos are branded as criminals. They have no regard for rules set forth by elder vampires, and are drawn to commit crimes ranging from theft, to rape, and eventually mass murder. The Ravnos are the only clan of vampires that willingly attack and feed on other vampires in order to achieve an "intoxicating high" from the supernatural sustenance that vampire blood provides.

TOREADOR

The Toreador clan are the most beautiful and visually stunning of all vampire clans and are comprised primarily of various artisits and innovators. In addition to their captivating beauty, the Toreador are able to lure their victims with the soothing melody of their voice. Similar to the Greek Sirens, those who fall victim to the hypnotic melody of a Toreador's voice will lose all of their willpower and be at the vampire's mercy. The Toreador, however, are also susceptible to their own vanity and jealousy. If a member of the clan feels as though they have been surpased in beauty or rank by another vampire (Toreador or not), or have become disfigured, whether in battle or by some other means, that Toreador will be unable to focus on anything else and will become completely obsessed with trying to regain their beauty and/or former position.

LASOMBRA

The Lasombra clan consist of skilled manipulators, tempters and plotters. The have the ability of Obtenebration, which allows them to create and manipulate shadows and the unformed substance of the primordial void, known as the Abyss. The effects they can create can range from causing flittering shadows which have actual substance, resulting in transforming their own bodies into an expression of darkness and emptiness; to temporarily submerging a small area of the immediate environment into the Abyss itself. Due to their shadow manipulation abilities, the Lasombra are the only clan of vampires that do not cast a reflection in mirrors or other surfaces, and are more susceptible to sunlight than any other vampire clan.

TZIMISCE

The Tzimisce clan are quite possibly the most feared of all of the vampire clans due to their unnatural ability of Vicissitude, which allows them to shape and sculpt the flesh and bones of subjects. They are able to make creatures of either breathtaking beauty, or abominations of absolute horror. During times of warfare, the Tzimisce would deform their servants into powerful monstrosities capable of aiding them in battle through extensive bone plating, spiked forearms, or by fusing multiple subjects (victims) together into mammoth killing machines known as the Vozhd. Each member of the Tzimisce must sleep in a mound of earth, in order to keep their unnatural abilities. If they fail to do so, their shape-crafting will slowly deplete over time and eventually, vanish altogether.

FOLLOWERS OF SET

The Followers of Set are not in essence a clan but are rather a cult of vampires who worship the Egyptian God Set. Not much is known about these vampires except that they do not affiliate with other vampires from any clan other than their own, and have a philosophical goal of corrupting others in order to create their own era of "paradise".


Which clan do you belong in?