Monster Cereals Once Again Return To Their Graves

    With Halloween over, the monster cereals that many of us have grown up with and loved are once again forced to return to their General Mills crypts and cardboard box coffins until next October.
But unknown to many, not all of the Mourning Breakfast Monsters are resurrected. While we are able to enjoy the delicious tastes of Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry; General Mills has decided to never again release Fruit Brute or Fruity Yummy Mummy. Granted, these two cereals were pretty much the same, but if Dracula, Frankenstein's Monster and a ghost can have their own cereals and be brought back every Halloween, then why not a werewolf who happens to dress like a circus clown and a mummy who let too many kids paint on him?
    The reason why so many people love and continue to buy these cereals every October is because we all grew up with them and want our own little toddler terrors to wake up and enjoy their own monster fright-fest breakfast. So let's band together and summon the long dead Fruit Brute and Fruity Yummy Mummy back to life so that we can all have a true monster feast.

Battle For The Undead Crown

Forget werewolves; zombies are the true nemesis of vampires. One group drinks blood. The other feeds on human flesh. Both are running opponents for the title of the True Undead.

While vampires are vastly more intellegent and powerful than a mindless slow-moving corpse, zombies have proven to be quite a deadly enemy when gathered in large groups. Their numbers are greater than those of the vampires, and they have virtually no weaknesses since they are unable to feel pain and require no rest or sleep. Although driven to feed primarily on living human flesh, zombies will also attack and feed on vampires as well. It is assumed that vampires give off the same scent as humans and thus attract the zombies to them, as they are essentially void of intellegance and thus are unable to comprehend the nature of their victims.

In contrast, vampires are lethal whether they hunt solo, or with a clan. They are able to utilize their speed and enhanced strength in order to overpower their victims. They must feed on the blood of living creatures, human or otherwise in order to survive, and must never drink the blood of the dead. Blood that is still present in corpses has already coagulated and can no loger be properly digested by a vampire. In addition, dead blood is cold as opposed to the warm blood of a living victim, and if injested will cause the vampire to emaciate and begin to mummify.

Vampires also have more methods to destroy them than zombies do. Exposure to direct sunlight, a stake through the heart, decapitation, drowned by holy water, shot with silver bullets, etc. Zombies can only be killed in one of two ways: decapitation, or severe trauma to the brain. So which undead creature would triumph in a battle to the death (er.. undeath, re-death, whatever, you get the point), which one would remain standing when the sun rises the following day and rightfully possess the title of the Undead?

Cast your vote.

Prepare for the Zombie Apocalypse!

It's inevitable. No matter where you go. No matter what religion you worship. No matter how many times you wish you had slept with the super-hot chick before she became one of the undead; you need to face facts. The zombie apocalypse is coming!

I don't know about the rest of you non-believers, but I intend to be fully prepared and ready to do battle with the flesh-eating death squads once they come shuffling down the street. Now that I have read Max Brooks'

The Zombie Survival Guide I know where to hide, how to fight, and how to avoid becoming a main course on the menu.

You might laugh at this, but when you're the ones who are being eaten alive by former friends and family who have developed an unstoppable case of the munchies, well ... OK, no one will be laughing then, but you can't say that I at least didn't try to warn you.

This book is the ultimate weapon in dealing with the hungry undead. It goes into specific detail on how to kill them (again) and how to stay a few (hundred) steps ahead of them. If you're truly smart and want to stay a member of the human race, then you will go out and buy a copy of this book ( you can't have mine, I will need it). Otherwise, you will find yourself surrounded by countless zombies who are driven only by the most basic of needs...

...THE NEED TO FEED!!!